Take Me – A Poem

“Ooo, it’s such a very

hot day”, I think.

All of this warm weather’s

Driving me to the brink!


Relieved to leave the metal box

That is my car,

I run for shelter in Tesco’s

Which seems so very far.


I’ve got a splinter in my thumb

So first search for some tweezers,

But then remember the frozen isle

With all those nice cold freezers…


“TAKE ME!”, I yell at the coldness

Upon reaching there.

Nervous customers stare at me

But I really do not care!


I let out another yell

The same as before,

Until security guards drag me out

Into the scorching sun once more.

Dirty Loincloth – A Poem

What’s the time?

Half past nine.

Hang your loincloth on the line.

When it’s dry, does it shine?

Maybe yours does, but not mine!

Remove the stains and it’ll be fine!

Easy care, easy wear.


Summer breeze

Makes me feel fine,

Blowing through the loincloth

On my line.