Soap In The Shower – A Poem

Who’s idea was it

When in the shower,

To use a bar of soap

It takes an extra hour!

 

Though my grip is tight,

Still every time

It falls to the floor

And leaves a layer of slime.

 

In the shower cabinet

There’s not much space –

On each side, the panels

Are a foot from my face!

 

To bend or to squat?

That is the question.

Though I know either way

I’ll still feel some tension.

 

I choose to bend

Because I forgot

The glass kisses my buttocks

If I don’t squat!

Family Bathroom – A Poem

The most interesting thing

In my house today,

Is the family bathroom.

 

With a walk in shower,

A floor sloped towards the wall,

A rope hanging tall

From the ceiling

Of my family bathroom.

Feeling like Tarzan

And try as I might,

Buttocks clenched tight,

I fail to swing

From my family bathroom.

 

In the toilet

Is a never-ending hole

Deeper than a well,

Black as coal.

However when fed,

Up from below

An almighty glow

Fills my family bathroom.

 

I slide across the tiles

For what I wish was miles,

Step off the wet floor

And out of the door

Reminding me

That this is what I live for –

My family bathroom.