Family Bathroom – A Poem

The most interesting thing

In my house today,

Is the family bathroom.


With a walk in shower,

A floor sloped towards the wall,

A rope hanging tall

From the ceiling

Of my family bathroom.

Feeling like Tarzan

And try as I might,

Buttocks clenched tight,

I fail to swing

From my family bathroom.


In the toilet

Is a never-ending hole

Deeper than a well,

Black as coal.

However when fed,

Up from below

An almighty glow

Fills my family bathroom.


I slide across the tiles

For what I wish was miles,

Step off the wet floor

And out of the door

Reminding me

That this is what I live for –

My family bathroom.

The Naked Man – A Poem

Oh what a nice day

For a walk in the sun,

Up the road to the river

They walk, then they run.


They stop at the bridge

To watch the water glisten

But wait, what’s that noise?

So they stop and listen.


Can they believe it?

I don’t think they can,

On the grass opposite

Stands a naked man!


They hoot with laughter

As he turns to stare,

Widens his eyes

And has quite a scare!


Hands shoot to his crotch

When he turns to run,

But bounds over a hedge

To catch a thorn in his bun!


This poem is based on a true story!