I was minding my own business at work
Cleaning the grit off the toilet bowl,
When a slightly hunched man walked in
And said “please can I have that toilet roll?”
I handed it over politely
And said “sure, of course”.
He snatched it away greedily,
But then threw it back with force.
He looked at me impatiently
“Is there another one?” he spat.
I said “I haven’t seen one sorry,
There was no need for that!”
He looked at me with remorse,
And said “that’s not the one that I wanted.
The one that I bought
Was double-layered, scented and quilted.”
He said “You see, the problem is
I’ve got a very sensitive bumhole,
So I really would appreciate it
If you could find my special loo roll.”