Standing on the grass,
The rain pattering on my head
I feel an uncomfortable feeling,
So attempt to cross my legs.
Why do these things happen
At the most inappropriate times?
Like at the funeral I’m in now,
Just as the church bell chimes.
I tense my gluteus maximus.
My back passage starts expanding,
My face begins to redden as I inch
Away from where my friend is standing.
There’s just no holding it in,
So feeling like a little kid,
I think “if in doubt, let it out!”
So that’s just what I did!